tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81629822782116021122024-03-05T06:34:20.564-08:00It's Curtins for YouThe lunatic rantings of the Queen BeeBethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.comBlogger263125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-19501144680363202772015-02-09T10:26:00.000-08:002015-02-09T10:26:31.464-08:00The Green Eyed MonsterI have never been one to be jealous or envious of others. I am happy with what I have. But lately I have been envious. Downright jealous I will admit. Friends and family that are pregnant and having babies have me fighting off the green eyed monster like nobody's business.<br />
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Oh to be pregnant again... The best time of my life was spent while pregnant or home with my babies. I will forever cherish the time I got to spend carrying my babies and being at home with them after giving birth. I loved being pregnant so much that I truly miss it. I have no desire for more children. We are done with that phase in our life but my heart longs for those years back when I was pregnant with Alexa and I had Aedan and Chloe running around as little people. It was truly magical. Even better was after I had Alexa and I was able to spend the 3 months at home with all three of them. What a wonderful time. Crazy to think that spending 24/7 with a newborn, a 2.5 year old and a 4 year old was fantastic, but oh yes, it was glorious. <br />
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The kids are great now in a different way. They are independent and each have wonderful personalities that intrigue me. Our family is complete and I find myself so content and in love even more now than in the early days of marriage. Life is good. No, life is great. And even though I'd LOVE to have those tiny babies back for a little while so I can rock them and snuggle them I know that the kids now are just as good in their own right. And I will just have to steal my kisses and hugs at bedtime or while they are sleeping or even on their way out the door. So be gone green eyed monster, what was I thinking? I have no time for you, my babies are tall and gangly .. but they are still my babies and they are all mine. <br />
<br />Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-3232383660360652422014-12-09T07:00:00.000-08:002014-12-09T07:12:16.212-08:00Stick your SpiritYou know. I have a job. One that pays me to show up. One that keeps me from my children and my home for approximately 50 hours a week. It pays very well and I kept it because I knew in the long run it would benefit the whole family. So when I am not at that job I like to be with my family and /or do the things that I can't do while I'm working. Like clean the house. Run the kids to their activities and generally just run run run. There is literally no rest for the weary these days. Three kids can really run you ragged.<br />
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So when I posed a simple question about how to obtain some new spirit sticks for my daughters (to maybe give them for Christmas) I was really excited to get back a nice response telling me to volunteer at school in order to get a heads up on all the new ones coming out. Yeah that's sarcasm. <br />
Yeah Sure. Let me use yet another non-existant vacation day to come into school to work the school store to get a heads up on the spirit stick inventory. Jesus H. Christ. I do my best to volunteer my time & money to the school when both allow. And it usually calls for me taking time away from my job. That's fine because the kids enjoy me being there. I would do it more if I did not work outside the home. I don't need someone telling me to volunteer. Isn't that the opposite of the definition of the word ? <br />
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I received an email a few weeks ago from H&SL with a sign up genie for lunches and a dinner during conferences for the teachers. Parents were expected to sign up to send in lunch and dinner supplies for the teacher. Pounds of cold cuts, different kinds of breads, salads, desserts, drinks, ice. For a few days and each meal was different. Drop off was only during school hours so us working shlubs had to make other arrangements IF we wanted to donate. WHICH I did. I was dropping off bags of ice on a Sunday night to someone's house. Simply so the teacher's could have a cold drink. I suppose they couldn't concentrate on the conferences AND pack meals from home during those 3 days of conferences. Either that or H & SL isn't selling enough Spirit Sticks to pay for the meals themselves.<br />
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Maybe they should send out the order sheet like I asked... then they'd have more $$$ coming in. They'd have gotten at least $10 from me. <!-----sarcasm-->Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-89254709967989630112014-02-27T11:49:00.003-08:002014-02-28T07:14:53.854-08:00For the Love of the GameWhen Basketball season was upon us the man and I heard that our Coach from last season had pulled a fast one and ranked Aedan low at the end of last season. We were a bit surprised because Coach had already told us he was going to try to get Aedan back on his team again. We (and others) came to the conclusion that he did this ranking simply so Aedan would not look good to other coaches therefore going later in the draft and making it easier for Coach to pick him up. Other coaches knew it happened as did the commissioner. He was called on it and he denied any wrongdoing. Nothing was done. Some of the kids that he got back weren't the highest scorers but in an effort to get some of the kids that played together last season he took them in addition to a few new (to our team) players. <br />
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We didn't do anything about it. Our opinion was that he knew we knew what happened and the higher ups also knew. We also did not tell Aedan what went on. He was simply happy to be back on a team with a few friends. The man and I both kept the incident in the back of our minds. Once practices and games started it took a little while for the kids to gel as a team. Having extra voluntary practice /shoot around each week helped build skills and also helped all the boys to learn the numerous plays. Ten plays in all are utilized and that's a lot of work for 4th graders. But they worked their butts off, learned their plays and quickly became a team.<br />
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Our boys went undefeated in the regular season. Some games were close and they really had to work hard to get the win and other games seemed to be won easily. Even when the other team was gunning for them and when it seemed the refs were against them they managed to pull out a win. We are now in the Playoffs and still undefeated. The coach gets as much information on the opposing team as possible so he knows how to line up our boys. He also continued some voluntary practices when time permitted. Our boys are playing hard and it shows in the win column. But now all the competition is calling "cheating and shady business " and trying to take away these kids' glory. Even going so far as to report "extra practices". Well I won't have it. The boys earned their spot. No one but those boys has earned the wins as a team. Not one single boy was responsible for the wins. They were the ones on the court playing their hearts out and they deserve to have that recognized. <br />
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They are in the Finals and I hope they show all the doubters exactly what can be done when you work hard as a team and put all you have out on the court. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's game, it should be a tight one with loads of action against a worthy opponent. Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-77727261771286439502013-11-20T07:28:00.000-08:002013-11-20T07:28:45.360-08:00Fleeting Moments are Just ThatI have a long commute to work. My mind tends to wander and my train of though turns into a runaway train some days. That is what happened today. While sitting at a stoplight I was scrolling Facebook and thinking of what I can sell on the FB yard sale I am a member of when I came upon a blue glider. Here is where I derailed. I have a blue glider. I thought to myself " Oh, I could sell ours. It's in perfect condition. It just sits there." But then I began thinking some more. "But it was a gift." And then still some more thinking. " I could get some decent money for it and someone else cold enjoy it." And this is the site of the train wreck.. "Someone else could rock their babies in it. Just like I did." I go down to the rec room now, I'll see that glider and I'll sit down. I'll rock for a while and think about my babies, who aren't babies anymore. The smell of their heads at midnight while we rocked and I fed them. How we snuggled up all cozy and they couldn't get close enough to me nor I to them. Or how when they were just a teenie tiny bit bigger and I would rock them when they could not sleep and I still tried to hold them so close. Those moments flew by so fast. Oh how I wish I had them now. I steal kisses and hugs from the boy as he struggles to get away these days. He still let's me tuck him in at night but for how long? I will take as much as he will allow. The girls still let me hug and kiss them as much as I want and I do my best because I see what happens when I look at the boy. <br />
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Just one more night to rock my babies in the glider.. ahh.. what joy my heart would feel for just that fleeting moment. I think we'll keep it around for a while longer even if only so I can sit and rock by myself and remember the joy. Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-27018873166625537132013-08-29T12:48:00.001-07:002013-08-29T12:48:10.454-07:00Drawing a Line.. and it's still a bit blurryI am once again forced to put my thoughts down in blog form so as to get my complete thought out without starting some sort of debate on a public forum. The song Blurred lines has been out for a while now.. over a month at least. And yet now, after the whole Miley Cyrus/VMA/Robin Thicke debacle is it getting a bad name. Does no one hear the lyrics of these songs they listen to anymore ? It has a catchy beat so it's great. End of story. I don't see why Blurred Lines should be any different than any other song on the hit list that is disparaging to women. I've heard offensive songs coming from men and women alike and have yet to hear so much backlash. Except in this instance someone acted like a total sleaze while dancing to the song with said song's singer. And now everyone cringes. I recall dreading Salt n' Pepa's "Push It" coming on the radio when I was driving with my father simply because I was embarrassed by the lyrics. But there was no back lash for that. And I certainly never heard anyone boycotting Nine Inch Nails for their song "Closer" . That is pretty damn offensive. "Blow My Whistle" is another example. My son started singing that simply from hearing it on the radio and because of the catchy tune. I finally had to tell him to stop. He didn't know the underlying meaning but I did and it pretty much grossed me out hearing it come from my nine year old. And those are just to name a few. There are so many offensive songs out that we sing along to and until some idiot does something to draw attention they are simply a song on the radio. <br />
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So why all the fuss over Blurred Lines? It's a song like all the rest. The physical acts during the performance on the VMA's is what is offending people. But if Thicke's wife isn't bothered then why should anyone be bothered for her. It's her marriage.The VMA's were aired on cable. Not Nickelodeon. There is a reason I don't let my kids watch MTV. Adult content. It's not music videos anymore and the awards shows are no different. <br />
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After all this, my point is if you're going to be offended by the song then that's all fine and dandy but you should have been offended before you were bopping your head to it for a month. And not after some 20 year old who wants to be noticed humped a married man on stage while he sang it. <br />
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<br />Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-68648729655128387072013-05-06T09:05:00.003-07:002013-05-06T09:05:53.724-07:00The What IfsWhen someone close to you goes through a personal tragedy and it touches you as well it makes you stop and think. Recently this has happened to me and I have been doing a lot of thinking and self examination. I have been going through all the "what ifs" in my head over and over. What if I die.. how will my children heal ? Will they remember my voice? Will Jim be able to deal with them in a calm and gentle manner on a day to day basis remembering that they are fragile? Should I record messages to them in case I do die so that they have my voice to listen to for those times they are feeling especially lonely ? Do I make up keepsake boxes for each of them from myself with notes and other special treasures of our time together so that they don't forget about me so quickly? <br />
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What if.. what if is such a broad question and it can encompass so many kinds of emotions. I think about all the what ifs so often that sometimes I can't not think about them. So in light of recent events I want to make my what ifs happier ones.<br />
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What if we go to the gardens and play tag and hide and seek and I take pictures of them and hey.. maybe I'll get photographed as well. What if we stop at the playground while we are out running errands simply because we can. What if I say what the heck and give them a milkshake before dinner. What if I let them stay up a bit later to watch a show they are enjoying on a school night.<br />
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The what ifs can be very powerful things. But I'm beginning to learn that they can also empower you to do more and feel more of the good stuff. Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-5260988135491530192013-04-02T20:20:00.000-07:002013-04-02T20:20:01.334-07:00My Baby, The Birthday Girl.<br />
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April 3rd, 11:11 am, 2008 is when I welcomed my last baby into the world. At that moment I could never understand how someone so tiny and innocent could change a family in such a profound way. She made us whole and "just right". Alexa Paige Curtin is a sassy, stubborn and simply fabulous addition to an otherwise typical family. She stops us dead in our tracks and makes us think at every turn. She can match wits with the best of them on any given day and take down even the biggest and baddest with a simple smile and a glimpse of her dimples.<br />
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She is my shadow and as much as I'd love a break most days I would probably miss her constant chatter. Her inquisitive nature amazes me on a daily basis and she has a thirst for knowledge which I just love to feed. Her giggles are contagious and her hugs and kisses are never-ending. She is my baby. She is turning five and I plan on doing my best to enjoy every minute of it. <br />
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<br />Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-33928665096289206332013-01-21T10:15:00.001-08:002013-01-21T10:15:32.723-08:00One of THOSE Questions..You know.. the questions we as parents dread. Not the "where do babies come from" question.. my kids think the Dr. cuts babies from everyone's bellies and that it's a normal thing. We'll just leave it at that.<br />
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Nope.. I got .. "Is Santa Real?" this morning from the 9 year old. I've been waiting for it. Expecting it. But still wasn't ready for it. I panicked and said yes. He said his friends said that their parents bought the gifts. I regretted saying it, and as he was walking away I asked him what he thought. He didn't hear me and I didn't bring it up again because the girls were around.<br />
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I have scripted a letter to him to try and discus the topic tonight after the girls are in bed. I want to get his take on the topic and I don't want him to get all cynical about it. I want him to understand that Santa and Christmas is about the magic and love and togetherness. And that as long as you believe there will always be a Santa. Real physically or not. <br />
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I hope my letter and our talk can get that across to him and also help him understand that his sisters are still young enough to have the magic. And that he needs to keep it alive for them for a while. Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-53235769846314087802012-12-18T11:26:00.000-08:002012-12-18T11:26:35.104-08:00Sandy Hook is Our SchoolOn Friday, December 14th a terrible tragedy occurred that has affected me to my core. Several times throughout the day I think of the children and how they could have been my own children. How Sandy Hook could have been our school. When I see overhead photos of the school I am taken aback at how similar it looks to our own small elementary school. The square shape with a courtyard in the center. A safe place for the children to learn and play. I cry often now, when I look at my 3 children, when I send them off to school, when I see a news headline. I can't control the ache in my heart for the children that died that day and for the adults who gave their lives trying to protect them. And the sorrow I feel for the families they left behind. All the lives lost, for what? I want to know why but I know even that answer won't curb the heartache.<br />
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If I feel this way for all the people that I did not know personally then how could I ever hope to survive something like this if it were to ever happen to me. I can't fathom an answer as to how I would function from day to day. I suppose I would eventually do it to keep life normal for my family but there would always be a piece missing.. my heart would be forever broken. Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-85781922612085053192012-11-10T08:00:00.002-08:002012-12-18T10:54:34.183-08:0030 Days of Grateful ? Or Simply a Ploy for Praise?OK.. I get that some people are super thankful every day of their life and I know who those people are. I see them all the time. But this being the month we celebrate thanksgiving and being thankful for things I just can't get over the number of posts on FB. Maybe it's my cynical side coming out, yet again. But to post every day about something you are thankful for seems a bit overkill. Can't you simply wake up and say to yourself "today I am thankful for _________" and call it a day? Why must you advertise your overly generous behavior and super thankful thoughts all over social networks for everyone to see? I get that it's a month long "challenge" to see if you can come up with something every day. So if that's the case then is it really something from the heart? Why not call the person you are thanking? Or stop by their house and thank them in person. Or are you just doing it so you can say "yeah I did it every day for 30 days"? Shouldn't you be thankful every day of your life ? And not just for your extra chocolately mocha cappuccino from Starbucks or for being able to sleep in. But for real things like happy kids, and that your extended family has made it through yet another health scare. THOSE are the things I am thankful for every day of the year. Not simply during November in order to get through 30 days of some challenge on Facebook. <br />
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Maybe I'm just getting ornery and cynical in my old age, but instead of advertising I will simply be grateful for my own positives, pay it forward and be thankful that I have the ability to do so. Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-41226289998396161162012-10-17T10:59:00.001-07:002012-10-17T11:00:01.017-07:00I Just Can't Take itFor the first time since joining Facebook I have a very strong desire to either block a long list of "friends" from my news feed or simply deactivate mya ccount. It's the presidential campaigning season. I despise politics. LIKE REALLY FREAKING HATE IT. If I want to know about my government and the goings on then I make it a point to do my own research. I do not rely on friends, loved ones and acquaintances to "teach", "instruct" or otherwise overload me with politics. And I really don't expect it in the place that I go to unwind and have fun like Facebook. FB is my "other" place. It's my getaway from work, laundry and the dull every day goings on that I deal with 24/7. So when I tap on my FB app and the news feed is overrun with comments and threads about the political candidates and who is winning the campaign and consistantly updating during each and every debate I get a bit annoyed and just click closed until I have an alert that actually interests me. <br />
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Here's what I don't get... People actually think if they continue to rant and rave and bully their ideas and opinions at other people in every forum possible they will change someones's mind and bring them over to their own side. I don't think I've ever seen that happen. All I've ever seen is a constant bullying and ranting back with the oposing idea and opinion. And it continues and goes on and on and on .. It's a vicious cycle. Period. End of story. Like topics such as Abortion and Gun Control.. there will always be 2 sides and there will always be a back and forth argument.. there will never be a Black and White. No one wins so why keep fighting? Why not attempt a truce and work together to find solutions to the issues at hand?? hahaha.. yeah right.. because that would be saying someone was wrong or made a mistake and we all know no one will do that. Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-31514288727185633672012-09-11T06:24:00.001-07:002012-09-11T06:25:27.941-07:009-11 Remembered.. for a dayToday is September 11, 2012. Eleven years since that fateful day that changed every American's feeling of safety in our homeland. Social networks are lit up with "Never Forget" and photos of the twin towers and other such rememberances. That's all fine and good. I posted a short update regarding the day as well. But as I sit here I got to thinking. "Never Forget" .. Where are all these people on March 25th, June 16th or any other day of the year that is not September 11th? I see nothing reminding me of the tragedy and to Never Forget any other time of year. I am just as guilty. The only time I think of the events of that day is when I'm going through photos on the computer and I happen to see one of me and the Man on a trip to NY with the towers behind us. Then I stop to think. But any other day of the year I don't really contemplate the day or how it changed our lives and I know I don't see any posts telling me to Never Forget around Facebook or Twitter. So, my question is this, are we really remembering or just reminding each other because it's on the calendar? Will we give another thought tomorrow, or next week, or two months from now? Maybe we should try to "Remember" a little harder. Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-19436590995151517622012-08-19T07:05:00.000-07:002012-08-19T07:05:10.265-07:00Can You Hear It? It's the sound of that huge sigh of relief that is coming. Soon. Once the kids get on that bus and head off to school in just over a week.<br />
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That sound signifies a cleaner house, a lower electric bill, less fights, and a general sense of calm that comes with the everyday routine we settle into once September hits. Maybe calm isn't the word I should use. Because life isn't calm by any means. But it is "my" kind of calm. I enjoy a structured day.<br />
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So yes, we will be running to swim lessons on Sunday nights, CCD on Monday nights, Soccer Practice on Tuesday nights, Gymnastics on Wednesday nights and soccer games on Saturdays.. but to me it will be a relief from the crazy days we've had all summer. It's been fun for them while it lasted but I've had enough.<br />
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The fighting from all the togetherness is getting to me. The kids fight much less when they don't see each other all day. And that is what I enjoy. <br />
<br />Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-86819686677695782342012-07-26T08:10:00.000-07:002012-07-26T08:10:03.973-07:00Vacation.. what's the payoff?We leave for vacation soon and I've begun the endless lists of things that need to be done to prepare for our departure. I find getting ready to leave for a week is super stressful. The Man says I stress too much. Well I think he doesn't stress enough. <br />
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his jobs: pack his clothing<br />
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I have to do everything else from packing everyone else's clothing to cleaning the house to stopping mail and getting someone to care for the animals. In addition to making sure all bills that may be due that week or right after are paid up etc. Stressful you say ?? Of course it is. By the time we are ready to leave I want to clean his clock. Simply because he is overjoyed and relaxed and I'm exhausted. Then vacation starts and all he wants to do is go, go, go. I prefer to sit and relax. WTF. We are polar opposites when it comes to vacation personalities. It's almost like I need to bring a friend for him and the kids so I don't need to entertain them all. <br />
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The days away from work, time spent at the beach with my camera & the kids and just quiet time with a book are what I look forward to on vacation. My kids spending time with their grandparents for a week and having fun is alwyas a good thing as well. <br />
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But while I pack and get ready I wonder if it's worth all the hassle and stress. <br />Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-23912235897581474082012-06-18T09:00:00.001-07:002012-06-28T11:22:17.713-07:00For the Love of the GameWhen our baseball season began all I could think about was the running here and there and the weekends that I would get nothing done around the house because I would be at ball games. I thought about the weeknights when dinner would be rushed to get to practice and the dust that would be building on my furniture as the house went uncleaned. <br />
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Then it began. The season to end all seasons. Nine games of glory. I remember Jim coming home from that first practice.. looking at me and saying with a sigh "Well, it should be an interesting season to say the least. We have quite a bunch of boys." He left it at that and I was wondering what he could have meant. <br />
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Then I figured it out at game 1. So many different personalities but so much in common, they are goofy 8 year old boys. Kicking dirt and throwing things at each other in the dugout. Your typical 8 year old boys with a short attention span and a need to win or whine. <br />
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The first few games surprised many of us parents when the boys came together and won despite the errors and lack of pitching skills that early in the season. But boy did they seem to mesh as the season went on. They developed a wonderful defense and their hitting on both the machine and from the kid pitchers was phenonmenal. But as they won each subsequent game it caused the other teams to put a target on their backs. The other coaches and players were dead set on beating the "undefeated team". We, as a group of coaches and parents, couldn't understand this "out for blood" mentality especially from adults when they were dealing with children. We were there to play and have fun. When the kids struck out or made and error we still cheered because we knew they felt bad enough about it. It's only a game after all. But we encountered other coaches that would put the rules (and ethics in my opinion) aside in order to win at all costs. It was sad to watch. And we felt bad for the kids on those teams because they weren't learning the true lessons. Even those teams were no match for our teamwork and explosive bats. <br />
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We finished the season 9-0 and because our boys were not in the higher division we get no playoff or championship games they simply got a participation medal. It was such a wonderful season and the boys became such good friends that I was sad to see it all end. I was wishing for a few more games. <br />
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So now we have a party planned.. a bit of a shindig to close it all out. It will probably turn into a crazy adult party if you read all the emails going back and forth between the parents. But the boys will have fun and we'll be able to celebrate the season the right way and plan some get-togethers over the summer. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ92WgrT0BEEJG9sASHtvVpuNhyphenhyphenHtkXZNuIIsrdcYPyBrsMsMRTDoUuJob055x6RoD6umyq1eaCTSnC2lqJkF6ZDkgakbF4j3-5aiqnBM7159ImznoUz-I5NPGrEtJrtIEcp40pj3Iln8/s1600/aedanbaseball36-18-12.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" rca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ92WgrT0BEEJG9sASHtvVpuNhyphenhyphenHtkXZNuIIsrdcYPyBrsMsMRTDoUuJob055x6RoD6umyq1eaCTSnC2lqJkF6ZDkgakbF4j3-5aiqnBM7159ImznoUz-I5NPGrEtJrtIEcp40pj3Iln8/s320/aedanbaseball36-18-12.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-21934159554976506652012-05-10T08:44:00.001-07:002012-05-10T08:44:47.788-07:00Win or Lose.. it's how you play the gameI have been accused of being a ferocious Mama Bear without reason on occasion and I will fully admit that I can be at times. But this is not one of those times. I am fully warranted in my rant in this matter and I have other objective bystanders that can back me up if need be. <br />
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At the boy’s 5th baseball game last night we played a team (The Thunder) that we have played before. We rolled over them in our previous game. Thunder’s coach is bitter because we are the only team to beat them and apparently he isn’t too happy about it. This is confirmed by the League Commissioner to our Coach in a conversation prior to the game. The game was supposed to be 3 inning coach pitch and 3 kid pitch due to a shortage of pitching machines. Thunder’s coach states he’d prefer all kid pitch so our coach agrees. We know they have a couple great pitchers on their team but aren’t too worried. <br />
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We get into the game and after a couple innings we realize this won’t be pretty. We are up by a couple runs (2-0) in the 3rd. That’s when I’m not running around to bathrooms with the girls and really start watching the calls and the pitches. The coach for the opposing team stands behind his pitcher and calls the pitches. His strike zone is ALL OVER THE PLACE. In the dirt, at their heads, he’s calling everything strike. Our Coach is calling pretty darn fair and we end up giving up a few runs on walks etc. So they catch up .. The Thunder coaches are yelling the score out while standing next to our kids on the field. Being true jackasses. Going on the field and coaching the kids in the middle of plays, letting the kids take more bases than the rules allow, etc. Our Coach had to say something to them at one point about how they are talking on the field in front of the kids. Our kids are so discouraged by the 5th inning they start swinging at shit pitches over their heads because they are so afraid of getting called out on strikes. A few kids come off in tears for striking out when the ball was in the dirt. And all we can do is pat them on the back and continue to encourage them. <br />
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Luckily by the end of the game our kids hung in there and pulled out the win 8-7. But in true jerk form they were yelling that it was a tie in order to keep their kids from feeling bad for losing. What is that teaching them? That isn’t how they learn to play ball the right way. That isn’t what I want my kid to think is right. You don’t push the rules to the side if they don’t suit you. You don’t put others down to build yourself up. You especially don’t do it to children when you are grown Men and you are dealing with 8 year olds. <br />
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The whole ordeal was still bothering me this morning so I emailed our coach and aired my concerns and asked if he thought things were a bit iffy. He replied that those particular coaches had already been an issue last year and this year with other teams according to the commissioner (he had already emailed him ) and he agreed that their way of playing the game was not how we want to teach the kids. <br />
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So technically I was an angry Mama Bear but it was warranted and it was for all the kids.. not just my own. They played a great game and did it the right way.Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-91011432275143226922012-04-30T07:26:00.000-07:002012-04-30T07:26:41.386-07:00Don't JudgeI find myself a bit surprised lately. I am surprised by others’ surprise and shock. I also find it a bit humorous. When people find out I have tattoos or more specifically 8 tattoos. They give me this look of shock. I laugh. And I ask why they are so shocked and some say “Well you just don’t look like you have that many tattoos”. How am I supposed to look? I am an equal opportunity dresser. Meaning: I dress from one end of the spectrum to the other. You can see me in jeans, a T-shirt & converse one day, the next I’ll have platforms & a short skirt and the next stilettos with leather pants. You just never know. So why is it so hard to believe that I would have so many tattoos? <br />
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<br />
Do I look a certain way that I am expected to BE a certain way? Is it my age? I am 38 years old, I have 3 children and I have 8 tattoos (with at least 1 more planned) and my navel is pierced. I enjoy going out to happy hours with friends and the Man when possible and letting loose. I do have a beer more than once a week. I am not an alcoholic. There are other things I could tell you but you’d have to get to know me first. ;) I wear very high heels, I am not a hooker. I wear Izod and khaki but I don’t dine at the club. <br />
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I wonder if people with more than one secret tattoo are supposed to be a certain way and act a certain way and dress a certain way. I love all my tattoos. And if I could show all of them without getting arrested I would. I doesn’t make me some freak. It makes me different just like someone with blue hair or pants with whales is different. I have so many friends that look different and they are just the loveliest people and I know this because I know them. <br />
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Do us all a favor don’t judge at first glance, get to know a person’s true self. They could win you over with their wit, intelligence or caring disposition in spite of the mohawk, piercing, tattoos, whale pants, stilettos, converse or Lilly dress. <br />
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Hahaha… I finished this.. reread it and realized it totally reminds me of the Breakfast Club. <br />
<br />Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-16024612036671694722012-04-26T08:00:00.001-07:002012-04-26T08:43:46.482-07:00Silent War<br />
In light of this week being National Infertlity Awareness Week my mind has been on the struggles of many women. I remember my own struggles and how I started out so optimisticly and naïve. Thinking, “Oh we’ll try for a few months and get pregnant and it will be great.” Oh how I was wrong. I suppose it’s better I was naïve because at least I had a few “fun” months before the true battle began. We tried for a few months and then I started charting my cycles and doing all the technical stuff to try and increase our chances. Once we hit the one year mark I got concerned. I called my Doctor. She said not to worry and that it can take a year or a bit longer to get pregnant the first time. Little consolation to someone with no patience who needs instant gratification. So we keep chugging along. In the meantime I find a message board online and start chatting it up with the ladies in the same boat as I am in. It helps to be able to air your issues with people that are going through the same thing without being judged. Little did I know those women would become my only strength some days, and my good friends to this day. <br />
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After 16 months I finally saw that little line on the pregnancy test. I didn’t believe it so I bought another one and took it the next day just to be sure. I did everything right, followed every rule, saw my little love at 7.5 weeks with a heartbeat and was mesmerized. I was in awe and totally in love. But he was not to be. I had a bleed at about 11 weeks. The ultrasound showed that the baby had not grown past the 7.5 weeks. I was devastated. To say I was heartbroken was an understatement. The callousness of the ultrasound tech and the Dr. that told me was unforgettable. And the (un)comforting words of family and friends that followed were just as bad. “You’ll get pregnant again”, “It was God’s will”, and “It was meant to be” ALL BAD CHOICES. Seeing pregnant friends who were due around the same time became torture. Hell, Seeing any pregnant woman was torture. I would look at a pregnant woman and say to myself “why her and not me?” And hearing someone say how easy it was getting pregnant was like a knife through the heart. The words Fertile Myrtle were like nails on a chalkboard. Getting pregnant became a job, a mission. And yet it still didn’t happen naturally. All the while I had no one but Jim. And he was a man. He didn’t understand the need. I turned to those ladies on-line. My friends, my comrades, my sisters in battle. <br />
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My Doctors got proactive and gave me some meds to help and when that didn’t work I was referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) or who I would like to call Dr. Castlebaum, My Miracle Worker. I saw the RE after trying for 30 months to get pregnant. He looked at me in his office and said “Let’s get you pregnant. “ I smiled and said “Yes, let’s.” He immediately scheduled me for a couple procedures to check out my insides. And instead of going the medicinal route again he suggested we go full force and start inseminations. I was all for it. Two months later we started the process of having Jim’s semen checked and my tubes and eggs checked. Everything was great, so why weren’t we getting pregnant? The next month was the insemination. And 3 weeks later I got a positive confirmation. It worked. And, as happy as I was, I was scared as well. I was on eggshells. I had ultrasounds monitoring this baby constantly. Finally at 12 weeks we decide it was OK to tell people we were pregnant again. You would think everyone would be happy. We actually got one response of “Well don’t get your hopes up”. That broke our hearts and caused a rift for a while. That pregnancy was one of joy and happiness for me because he was my miracle baby. He was my Aedan. <br />
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I think back to all of the people that surrounded me during my infertility journey and friends that gave me the most support I haven’t even met in person. They comforted me when I needed it. They listened to me rant and complain without judgment. Because they too were going through it. They understood. I am so grateful for those friends. And I am even more grateful that I still have them and that they have all been blessed in one way or another with a child of their own. I just wish I knew back then that others around me were going through the same fight I was in. I felt I was the only one. No one spoke of it around me. I suffered in silence. I needed the support and I got nothing in my day to day life outside of my computer. Infertility breaks you down and sucks the life from you. It causes you to envy other women, fight with your husband and separate yourself from others. You can’t function. It’s all you think about because it consumes you to your core. Being a mother is the most important thing to some women so when that is jeopardized we will fight to the death to get it. Any woman you know could be in the battle right now. Please remember what was said and don’t offer words of wisdom if you haven’t been there. Just offer to listen or a shoulder to cry on. Because if you haven’t had a struggle or loss you truly cannot understand the pain/grief/all encompassing sorrow that comes with it. <br />
<a href="http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/home-page.html">Resolve.org</a>Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-32028558332866431642012-04-13T06:28:00.001-07:002012-04-13T06:54:55.150-07:00The Same Old Tired DebateIn light of recent events involving Hilary Rosen and Ann Romney that wonderful debate pitting SAHM's against Moms that work outside of the home has been brought into the spotlight again. Talking heads like to stir the pot and get women going on social network sites like FB by posting threads asking opinions and most women can't leave it alone. And as much as women say that it's a woman's choice for her specific family later down the line you'll see someone throw in a comment like "SAHM's Don't get enough respect.. It's a full time job and it's 24/7, not 9-5." Why won't women realize we are all Moms together and whether you work outside the home or not isn't the issue.. we all love our children and we all work our asses off to keep them happy and healthy, all while keeping a somewhat clean home. All of which is done usually on little sleep. Being a Mom is a 24/7 job. Period. Some women do it from home all day some leave for a while to do other stuff and then come home and do it later into the night.. either way.. Same damn job. It's called MOM. <br />
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In my next life I want to come back as a man. Women spend so much energy tearing each other down and trying to feel superior. It's exhausting. I don't think I'm better than another woman because I earn a paycheck and I certainly don't think someone else is better because she gets to spend all day with her kids. It's a godamn choice for every family based on their own situation.. just like having a pet or a fucking minivan or taking a fricking Disney vacation every damn year. <br />
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Choices. We all get them unless we are incarcerated and I don't look at parenthood as incarceration (most days). It was a choice I made, and a damn good one, that I live with every day as I kiss them goodbye before school as I leave for work and then as I kiss them hello when I get home each night. MY choice. Take it or leave it but don't tell me it's wrong.Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-5483889847100431772012-04-02T12:45:00.001-07:002012-04-02T12:46:27.608-07:00The Birthday GirlI was driving to work today and I was thinking about the smallest person in the house and her birthday tomorrow. She'll be 4. A wave of nausea washed over me. I'm not sure why. All I know is that everytime I think about her turning 4 tomorrow I feel a bit sick to my stomach. She is wise beyond her years. She acts and looks older than 4. One day she wants to be a cowgirl and the next she has no clue what she wants to be besides a fashion model. <br />
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I could do without the whining that has snuck up on us in recent weeks. It's daily torture that usually precedes a crying fit over something so unimportant you simply have to shake your head and walk away. <br />
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I can only guess that ill feeling is the realization that I no longer have any babies and that I won't be having any babies in my house. The feeling that I am no longer 100% needed. She wants to do most things herself. The times I want to go out by myself I cave when she begs to tag along just to prolong our together times because I know she won't want to come with me much longer. And even though she always has a big grin on her face when she sees me at the end of the day I can't help but wonder if it's just so I'll give her gum. I look forward to other fun stuff with her but will always miss having those special Mom and baby times. So bittersweet these birthdays are.Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-7269652072762732412012-03-26T07:31:00.002-07:002012-04-02T12:50:39.834-07:00Oh the ShameAt this point I'll deal with it. Seriously. I feel like lying when the schedulers ask where I am having pain and why I need to see the Dr. How do you tell them that a vacuum jumped onto your head without expecting a chuckle or a clearing of the throat? <br />
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I think I only get my injuries requiring medical attention by very stupid means. " yeah um. I am having excruciating pain from my head through my neck and down into my shoulder. 3 Motrin doesn't touch it. Anti inflammatories don't touch it." What happened to cause the pain ? "Um.. well.. Um.. My vacuum jumped off the stairs and landed on the back of my head. Feel free to laugh once you hang up." <br />
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I give up. Dr. Lipton is gonna have a field day with this one. He thought messing up my knee in the name of wine was bad..Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-11573185549540442342012-02-21T09:33:00.000-08:002012-02-21T09:33:17.261-08:00Cancer 101: More info. than I ever wanted to knowIn embarking on this journey with my Mother I never imagined I'd learn so much. I figured I would be the bookkeeper. Someone to keep all the paperwork and appointments in order and make sure she got to all her appointments. But I am so much more. I am her advocate. I am there to make sure she understands everything. So that she doesn't leave an appointment with more questions than when she walked in. So that she has answers even after the appointment is over. She can call me and I can tell her when she'll have a test or when to expect a certain side effect. I have taken on this job willingly. I need to be in control. I need to know she will come out on the other side of this disease healthy. I have to know everything. <br />
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Every Doctor, every Nurse. Every medication and it's side effect. Every test. I have it all. In my head and on paper. Not only for her but for myself, my sister, my daughters and neices. We were blindsided. We have dusted ourselves off and now that we are informed we will be prepared for the future. We will fight and be proactive.Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-53799028479132133762012-02-14T08:16:00.000-08:002012-02-14T08:16:49.819-08:00Measuring UpIt's Valentine's Day. Another holiday, another day for Mothers around the world to use social media to compare themselves to other mothers. I logged into Facebook this morning and was bombarded with greetings of "Happy Valentine's Day" as I expected as well as threads and photos of all different ways friends have chosen to celebrate their love for loved ones. The fancy breakfasts, and gifts and decorations and general overkill that could make a slacker mom like me want to drive off a cliff. <br />
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We don't overdo Valentine's Day in my house. I get the kid's a bit of candy and a small gift. This year it's a special book they each wanted and a box of airheads for each. It's not Christmas for chrissake. I try and let them know I love them all year long so overloading them with red stuff on one day isn't going to change that. The man and I don't even exchange cards anymore. It's a waste to us. Sometimes one of us may surprise the other with a card or something dumb.. but it's rare, and it usually pisses the other off. <br />
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So when I see all the hoopla out there I wonder if I am robbing my children of something they need. Will they be crying to a therapist in a few years that the reason they started those fires is because Mom never made them pink heart shaped pancakes? Am I supposed to add mores duties to my already exhaustive workload ? I'm thinking that's a no. They haven't complained about not getting these things. As a matter of fact, if I put pink pancakes in front of them they may refuse to eat them. Because they are different. That would be my luck. I get up at 5am, make the damn pancakes and they refuse to eat them. Then I flip the hell out and there goes the happy -Happy Valentine's Day. Screw that.. they can eat Mini Bites Muffins or some cereal and we can continue our regular day. We'll all be much happier and I'll continue to get my much needed sleep. <br />
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I'm headed over to school this afternoon to help out in the boys class for the 1st time in 3 years. yeah .. I know.. I told you I'm a slacker mom. It's a surprise. I'm excited and I hope he will be too. Tonight we'll have red sauce in our baked ziti (that I didn't even make.. cause I'm a slacker.. my Sister in law had an extra tray) and they'll get their books and candy. And we'll have our Valentine's Day the same way we do most years, together. Because that's what counts right ?Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-31048138566543651532012-01-27T21:08:00.000-08:002012-01-28T05:34:32.605-08:00Not to beat a dead horse but I'm SIck of the ExcusesI haven't had a chance to really get things off my chest about this whole Penn State scandal so here goes.<br />
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I am glad the funeral is over so I don't have to keep hearing how great a man JoePa is and all the great things he did for Penn State. I don't care. He wasn't one of my favorite people before the Sanduskey scandal came to light and he certainly isn'y now. What I do care about is the children that were victimized first by Sanduskey.. then by McQueary and JoePa and then by the rest of the people that did NOTHING over the years. Those children suffered in silence while those grown men went about their daily lives and didn't give them a second thought. "I did what the State required" . Well godamnit when it comes to a child being harmed I don't usually stop and think.. "well I wonder what the state mandates are for reporting this? Maybe I should just tell my boss. That should do it." No I don't fucking think so. My moral compass tells me to go to the police and report it and follow it until I'm sure that something is done. Because if I had even one inkling of a thought that maybe the police were not taking care of things I'd be on the phone again. FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN. Because I would want someone to do that for my child.<br />
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This diary was brought to my attention and I read it with tears in my eyes because <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/01/22/1057341/-F**k-Joe-Paterno-%28Final-Important-Update,-please-read-3%29">THIS</a> is the reason why someone needed to do the right thing and go to the real police not the damn rent-cops on campus and not the President of the University. So many other children could have avoided Sanduskey altogether had something been done years ago.<br />
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So don't give me the excuses like .."but he's a good man and has done so much good.. " well ya know what .. apparently so did Sandusky with his charitable foundations.. be he still victimized those children. You can be a good man on the outside and still not be the good man in the right situation.Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8162982278211602112.post-20365738064419771142012-01-27T20:13:00.000-08:002012-01-27T20:13:29.914-08:00What we've been doing...It's a new year.. time to catch up. We all had a wonderful Christmas and New Years celebration and are happily trudging along with our regular schedules these days. A few things have added to our mayhem...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbNXRFUzYaanfLV7n0RMUZ-L-lNB4fTUlLf3QK6qCNyblVUg3CSfVPqjQ4dRNiRerVJlXghBYgxajkp36WdcGk1qZcVULLT1H4KEWe3-mJ3w9N2AFKeNtIxdgIRl54-NzrJa0lY8ehdqg/s1600/411.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbNXRFUzYaanfLV7n0RMUZ-L-lNB4fTUlLf3QK6qCNyblVUg3CSfVPqjQ4dRNiRerVJlXghBYgxajkp36WdcGk1qZcVULLT1H4KEWe3-mJ3w9N2AFKeNtIxdgIRl54-NzrJa0lY8ehdqg/s320/411.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>Pipsqueak or Pip for short has been a welcome addition to our family. He is such a sweet and happy little guy.<br />
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In addition to Pip we have added some activities to our weekly routine. Chloe is now enrolled in gymnastics once a week and is enjoying the jumping, bouncing, flipping and balancing. Aedan has started back at Soccer academy, and all 3 kids are back in swim lessons. These activities, added to the CCD class on Sunday mornings suck up 4 nights a week. I am lucky to be able to use the gym at the Y during the swim lessons and the gymnastics so that is one benefit to all the running. :) But boy am I tired by Friday. <br />
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We have a few fun things planned like a trip to Baltimore to see the Phillies play and to visit the harbor and aquarium. The kids are almost excited as I am about that trip. I managed to score a couple sets of early tickets to 2 more Phillies games before the single games tickets go on sale so that's a plus.<br />
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One of the less fun things we have been dealing with is my Mother's breast cancer diagnosis. I have a few appointments coming up next week with the breast cancer Dr. and the Medical oncologist to go over her treatment. I'm hoping all my research and subsequent "diagnosis"after reading her pathology report and other papers is wrong and things aren't as bad as I am thinking they are. But as usual, we will get through it as a family, good or bad.Bethannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02932514774656970400noreply@blogger.com0