Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Cancer 101: More info. than I ever wanted to know

In embarking on this journey with my Mother I never imagined I'd learn so much.  I figured I would be the bookkeeper. Someone to keep all the paperwork and appointments in order and make sure she got to all her appointments. But I am so much more. I am her advocate. I am there to make sure she understands everything. So that she doesn't leave an appointment with more questions than when she walked in.  So that she has answers even after the appointment is over.  She can call me and I can tell her when she'll have a test or when to expect a certain side effect. I have taken on this job willingly. I need to be in control. I need to know she will come out on the other side of this disease healthy. I have to know everything.

Every Doctor, every Nurse. Every medication and it's side effect. Every test.  I have it all. In my head and on paper. Not only for her but for myself, my sister, my daughters and neices. We were blindsided.  We have dusted ourselves off and now that we are informed we will be prepared for the future. We will fight and be proactive.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Measuring Up

It's Valentine's Day. Another holiday, another day for Mothers around the world to use social media to compare themselves to other mothers.  I logged into Facebook this morning and was bombarded with greetings of "Happy Valentine's Day" as I expected as well as threads and photos of all different ways friends have chosen to celebrate their love for loved ones.  The fancy breakfasts, and gifts and decorations and general overkill that could make a slacker mom like me want to drive off a cliff.

We don't overdo Valentine's Day in my house. I get the kid's a bit of candy and a small gift. This year it's a special book they each wanted and a box of airheads for each. It's not Christmas for chrissake. I try and let them know I love them all year long so overloading them with red stuff on one day isn't going to change that. The man and I don't even exchange cards anymore. It's a waste to us. Sometimes one of us may surprise the other with a card or something dumb.. but it's rare, and it usually pisses the other off.

So when I see all the hoopla out there I wonder if I am robbing my children of something they need.  Will they be crying to a therapist in a few years that the reason they started those fires is because Mom never made them pink heart shaped pancakes? Am I supposed to add mores duties to my already exhaustive workload ?  I'm thinking that's a no. They haven't complained about not getting these things. As a matter of fact, if I put pink pancakes in front of them they may refuse to eat them. Because they are different. That would be my luck. I get up at 5am, make the damn pancakes and they refuse to eat them. Then I flip the hell out and there goes the happy -Happy Valentine's Day. Screw that.. they can eat Mini Bites Muffins or some cereal and we can continue our regular day. We'll all be much happier and I'll continue to get my much needed sleep.

I'm headed over to school this afternoon to help out in the boys class for the 1st time in 3 years. yeah .. I know.. I told you I'm a slacker mom.  It's a surprise.  I'm excited and I hope he will be too. Tonight we'll have red sauce in our baked ziti (that I didn't even make.. cause I'm a slacker.. my Sister in law had an extra tray)  and they'll get their books and candy. And we'll have our Valentine's Day the same way we do most years, together. Because that's what counts right ?