Friday, January 27, 2012

Not to beat a dead horse but I'm SIck of the Excuses

I haven't had a chance to really get things off my chest about this whole Penn State scandal so here goes.

I am glad the funeral is over so I don't have to keep hearing how great a man JoePa is and all the great things he did for Penn State. I don't care. He wasn't one of my favorite people before the Sanduskey scandal came to light and he certainly isn'y now. What I do care about is the children that were victimized first by Sanduskey.. then by McQueary and JoePa and then by the rest of the people that did NOTHING over the years. Those children suffered in silence while those grown men went about their daily lives and didn't give them a second thought. "I did what the State required" . Well godamnit when it comes to a child being harmed I don't usually stop and think.. "well I wonder what the state mandates are for reporting this? Maybe I should just tell my boss. That should do it."  No I don't fucking think so. My moral compass tells me to go to the police and report it and follow it until I'm sure that something is done. Because if I had even one inkling of a thought that maybe the police were not taking care of things I'd be on the phone again. FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN. Because I would want someone to do that for my child.

This diary was brought to my attention and I read it with tears in my eyes because THIS is the reason why someone needed to do the right thing and go to the real police not the damn rent-cops on campus and not the President of the University. So many other children could have avoided Sanduskey altogether had something been done years ago.

So don't give me the excuses like .."but he's a good man and has done so much good.. " well ya know what .. apparently so did Sandusky with his charitable foundations.. be he still victimized those children. You can be a good man on the outside and still not be the good man in the right situation.

What we've been doing...

It's a new year.. time to catch up. We all had a wonderful Christmas and New Years celebration and are happily trudging along with our regular schedules these days. A few things have added to our mayhem...
Pipsqueak or Pip for short has been a welcome addition to our family. He is such a sweet and happy little guy.

In addition to Pip we have added some activities to our weekly routine.  Chloe is now enrolled in gymnastics once a week and is enjoying the jumping, bouncing, flipping and balancing.  Aedan has started back at Soccer academy, and all 3 kids are back in swim lessons. These activities, added to the CCD class on Sunday mornings suck up 4 nights a week. I am lucky to be able to use the gym at the Y during the swim lessons and the gymnastics so that is one benefit to all the running. :)  But boy am I tired by Friday.

We have a few fun things planned like a trip to Baltimore to see the Phillies play and to visit the harbor and aquarium. The kids are almost excited as I am about that trip. I managed to score a couple sets of early tickets to 2 more Phillies games before the single games tickets go on sale so that's a plus.

One of the less fun things we have been dealing with is my Mother's breast cancer diagnosis.  I have a few appointments coming up next week with the breast cancer Dr. and the Medical oncologist to go over her treatment. I'm hoping all my research and subsequent "diagnosis"after reading her pathology report and other papers is wrong and things aren't as bad as I am thinking they are. But as usual, we will get through it as a family, good or bad.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Coddling our Kids.. raising adults who expect everything handed to them

This came over today in an email while I was at work.. it coincides with my trophies-for-everyone-dont-do-it post of last year.  Still holding strong to my belief .. and this says it way better than I ever could..

As a practicing psychiatrist and a parent of two children, ages 9 and 13, I am very concerned about the state of parenting in America.

When they were a little younger every child on my son’s and daughter’s soccer teams was given a ribbon. It didn’t matter if they were on a team that never won a game or if they had mastered any soccer skills at all. They routinely came home from swim meets with fistfuls of ribbons—first place and second place, but even for fifth place, in a field of five. For the first few years my son played baseball, every boy in the town league got a trophy.

It was a dangerous charade, and I took the steps I could to try to counteract it. I wasn’t heavy-handed. I simply commented, occasionally, that a year or two down the road it would be only the first, second and third-place teams that would get trophies. I would mention that the first-place ribbon from the swim meet was my favorite because it was “better” to get one for beating four other swimmers than for merely finishing the race.

Rewarding mediocrity—or worse—can deprive children of striving to be their best.

It can condition them to expect praise even when their work is average or less-than-average.

It can deprive them of the opportunity to learn—when the stakes are relatively low—that they can survive losses and come back next week or next season or by choosing a different field to compete on, altogether.

It can steal from them the opportunity to find the best in themselves—for real.

It can give them the clear message that they are frail of spirit and dependent on fiction to sustain false self-esteem.

See, since human beings have a God-given barometer of truth inside them, telling them they’ve won when they haven’t is actually dispiriting to them. Being a party to fakery is, in the end, more demoralizing than losing fair and square.

If a child intuits that praise is false, he or she will not be certain a parent’s love is true.

f a child knows that a victory is hollow, he or she can never know the joy of triumphing over adversity.

If a child senses that there is no such thing as excellence, that child can miss the inner calling to greatness that could be his or her birthright.

It has never been more important to honor real winners and comfort real losers and insist that the truth about our children be recognized by them and those around them. Because never before in history have there been so many ways our sons and daughters can lie to themselves about who they are.

On Facebook they can pretend to have hundreds of “friends.” On YouTube they can pretend to be stars. On Twitter they can pretend to be worthy of “followers.”

But the world is waiting to judge them, and certain realities will not be denied. All of us have real enemies to either defeat or be defeated by. We have real illnesses to either cure or be laid low by. We will always have real economic challenges to either come to grips with or run from.

Parents who want to pretend their kids never lose at anything are raising a generation of kids who don’t know what it takes to win. And that is stealing their best from them and stealing the best future from all of us

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatrist and member of the Fox News Medical A-Team

Seriously.. we need to wake up and pull our heads out of our asses.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

It's a Family Health Kick

We'll see how long this lasts.  It's a new year. We have a YMCA family memnbership so why the heck not. We could all stand to be a little bit healthier.

The kids are all in swim lessons. That gives Jim and I a 1/2 hour of gym time twice a week. At least track time since we will have kids in tow.  Aedan has soccer and Chloe is now signed up for Gymnastics on Mondays as well. So now I will also get another hour at the gym all by my lonesome.  Add that to our slightly more healthy diet choices and we are on a roll here.

If the gym time doesn't do it all the running from here to there and lack of time to actually sit and eat a meal might do the trick.

I want to flaunt my bikinis .. not just put them on and sit my butt in a chair hoping not to have to get up. I may be old but I don't need to look or feel old.  So I say down with the couch potato and up with action ! We are getting moving in every way possible.  Here's to a great year and our success!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year: New Challenges and New Adventures

Most people set goals and resolutions for the New Year. I simply look at it as a clean slate. An opportunity to try new things, maybe change a few things, but most of all look keep an open mind. It doesn't always work but hey, my intentions are always good.

This year is already chock-full of some important life lessons and decisions, and we are only on January 1. Keeping ourselves healthy is a major factor this year. Our family has been hit hard this past year with some medical issues and will be battling those in the coming year. Luckily some have been resolved in a positive way. Others are still being dealt with and hopefully we all can come out on the other side healthy and filled with a better understanding of the disease, strength of family and courage.

I am already taking a big leap and doing something out of the box for me on January 2nd. Makes me nervous and giddy just thinking about it. But it's something I've wanted to do so I'm hoping that in taking this leap that it will give me the courage to go further with other things I have only dreamed about.

This year will be all about adventure. As always with my Family each day is an adventure and I am planning on making the most of it.

Happy New Year 2012 everyone!