I was driving to work today and I was thinking about the smallest person in the house and her birthday tomorrow. She'll be 4. A wave of nausea washed over me. I'm not sure why. All I know is that everytime I think about her turning 4 tomorrow I feel a bit sick to my stomach. She is wise beyond her years. She acts and looks older than 4. One day she wants to be a cowgirl and the next she has no clue what she wants to be besides a fashion model.
I could do without the whining that has snuck up on us in recent weeks. It's daily torture that usually precedes a crying fit over something so unimportant you simply have to shake your head and walk away.
I can only guess that ill feeling is the realization that I no longer have any babies and that I won't be having any babies in my house. The feeling that I am no longer 100% needed. She wants to do most things herself. The times I want to go out by myself I cave when she begs to tag along just to prolong our together times because I know she won't want to come with me much longer. And even though she always has a big grin on her face when she sees me at the end of the day I can't help but wonder if it's just so I'll give her gum. I look forward to other fun stuff with her but will always miss having those special Mom and baby times. So bittersweet these birthdays are.
If you get Migraines, you need to know this.
2 weeks ago