My faith is surely being tested

I cannot even assemble words to explain what I am feeling at the moment. My brother-in-law. Jim's sister's husband had surgery to remove brain cancer on Friday and has been given 3 - 12 months to live. I can't fathom how SIL is feeling. I can only suppose it's like the world has fallen out from under her. Like she can't stand or move. Like she is drowning in nothingness. Because I can only imagine that that is what I would be feeling if I had gotten the same news today.

Tom is the guy that is willing to share what he has with you no matter what. Willing to give you the shirt off his back. Eager to lend a helping hand even if he just met you. Always quick with an interesting history lesson about some dumb piece of information or a joke to cheer you up.

And now it's like he's being taken away from us .. and he is. Too soon.

Today I feel glad that I don't spend my sundays in church praying for something that will never come.

Down the Shore

3 crappy, long, boring work days left before I leave for a blissful week at the jersey shore. Yeah .. the Jersey shore... not a 5 star resort and yet we love it and go back every year. We wouldn't have it any other way. We love us some beachin' and boardwalkin'.

We will pack as much as possible Friday night so we can be on the road by 7:30. Check in isn't til 2 but we have family already down for vacation so we can visit for a while before checking in.

I am so excited for some relaxing days that do not include laundry and dishes and lunches and day care prep.

I am excited to take pictures like crazy.. the possibilities are endless when you have a beach and dunes and a bay and countless other sites at your disposal for a photo shoot. :)

Found the lost teeth..

Aedan lost two.. but Alexa has topped that. She is currently cutting 7 .. count em.. 7 teeth. Four of these are molars. Talk about Ouch ! No wonder she is miserable with a temp, a runny nose and runny diapers. It's really a joy at my house these days.. let's just hope the cutting part moves quickly.. or else I may have to cut myself.

Things that make you go Hmmm...

Sometimes I sit and just think. About anything and everything.

1.. while chatting via FB last night with my sister she told me she had a dream that I died and that she woke up crying. That reminded me of something Aedan told me last week. He had a dream that He and I both died. I've found out in past research that a death in your dreams means that person (the dead one) will go through a major life change. So.. I know Aedan's move to Kindergarten would be his life change.. what would mine be ?? Interesting... I suppose we'll see soon enough.

2. I wonder how I do it. Meaning. Get up at 5:30 every day and get myself and the 3 kids ready abnd out the door by 7 to get to work by 8:30. This is after staying up til after 10 most nights folding laundry, cleaning, getting things ready for the next day and general house work. I can't doo much while the 3 kids are awake so once they hit the hay I can bust out the cleaning and prep work. I should fall over at approx. 4 pm every day but I don't. I suppose my body is just accustomed to it now? Now if all this running around did something for my waistline I'd be a happy camper.

Countdown is on

In honor of our upcoming vacation I have changed the photo to last year's family vacation pic. :) I'll compare pics after this year's getaway :)

A Candidate for Juilliard

I swear Chloe could get a full scholarship to Juilliard with her most recent adaptation of a shakespeare character. During dinner last evening I told her she had to try at least one piece of chicken before she said she didn't like it. Finally she puts the piece in her mouth and begins to chew. She makes a face to spit it out I tell her not to and to swallow it. She gets this grimace on her face and proceeds to choke it down. Now when I say *choke it down* that's what I mean .. literally.
She begins to swallow and grabs her throat and makes choking and gurgling noises while throwing her head back. She continues to grab at her throat which looks as if she's trying to claw away at her neck to clear the poison. She acted as if she had just swallowed chicken coated in arsenic and acid.

I looked at Jim and shook my head and we both just lost it. And then she finished the rest of the chicken.

I *should* eat my own arm.. it would help.

OK. I smoked for um... about 17 years. Never while pregnant or for several months thereafter. As soon as that little stick showed + I stopped cold turkey. It was easy. But I always went back.

Now I have been smoke free for almost 8 months. It was actually easy. It must have been *my time* .

Now here is my issue. Between the non-smoking, post pregnancy extra 5 pounds, birth control pill, and steroids for my asthma I am at my all time highest weight. Not counting pregnancy weight of course. Instead of smoking I snack. Which is not a good thing. My metabolism changed when I hit 35 and stopped smoking. I can't eat whatever I want anymore. And I like to eat whatever I want.

I don't like the way I look. This is the 1st time in my life I can say that. Hubby says I look good to him. What the hell does he know? He's a typical man. if he's getting any he's happy. All I know is none of my favorite clothes fit nicely anymore. I'm sick of trying to squeeze my ass into a pair of pants only to decide they are too tight and search for another pair.

I want my old body back. So now I have to see what I can do, with the teeny tiny amount of free time I do have, to try and drop about 15.

Wish me luck because if I have to give up eating someone may die.

Head Shots

The Tooth Fairy Cometh

I just got a call from Day Care . The voicemail message was from Aedan's teacher and she said "it's not bad thing it is good". So I call back and she tells me Aedan wants to tell me something. :)

"Mommy I lost my 1st tooth"

We've been working on these 2 loose ones for over a week now because their replacements are already coming in behind them.

So now the Fairy needs to count her cash and see what she thinks a 1st tooth is worth.

Ears to you

Tomorrow is that day. The day we have the ENT appointment and will most likely (99% Sure) schedule the surgery for the littlest Miss to get tubes. I know it will be for the best but gosh that whole idea of anesthesia freaks me out. How can her tiny little body handle it ? On a similar note. how can her little body handle another seizure as a result of a fever that is the a result of another ear infection... I'd rather have the tubes to try and avoid the seizure as much as th anesthesia scares me.