Death and God's Angels

I had to have the conversation with my older kids last night about death. It's the hardest thing I've done in a very long time. I didn't want to do it.

They know that Uncle Tom has been sick for a while. They enjoy visiting him, Aunt Peggy, Sierra, Tommy and Nikki. But I don't think they are ready to deal with death at all. I told them that Uncle Tom may die soon and that we will need to go to his viewing and his funeral and pray. Aedan and Chloe said "You mean Uncle Tom is gonna die for REAL?" I wanted to chuckle and say "No.. It was all a bad joke. Go back to playing." But I couldn't. Because he is dying. For real. So I had to tell them that yes he was for real. And that the cancer that made him sick was too strong and he can't fight it any more.

The conversation that followed with Chloe broke my heart but also made me proud because she does know what kind of man we are losing.

"But what happens when you die?" God makes you one of his angels.
"But how come?" Well because only the best and good people get to be one of God's angels and Uncle Tom is a really good guy right?
"Oh Yes!" Right so he will definitely be one of God's angels.
"And will we get to see him?" No.. but he will get to see you.

She seemed satisfied with that. But I'm not. It's too soon. What about everything he'll miss ? It's not fair.. forget about Life.. Death is not fair. Not fair to his family and everyone else that knows him losing him too soon.

Oh Come Little Children

Let me contribute to the delinquency of the youth of today. Put me in front of a class full of 1st graders and attempt to teach them about Jesus, God and Hell. My own children know all about them. Simply because I yell "Jesus H. Christ, Godamnit and What the Hell " on a daily basis. I'm guessing that is not what the lady had in mind when she called me on Sunday and asked me to teach Aedan's 1st grade CCD class.

The funniest part of this whole situation? I think I want to do it. Yeah. Shoot me dead. I think I'd enjoy it.

There are some serious negatives. It's on a Monday night. After work. You have to have a lesson plan. The Priest and/or other *seasoned* teachers sit in and listen /watch while you teach. I am not a great public speaker at all. In front of a bunch of 6 year olds I'd be OK but geez do the adults have to come by often?? Really? If they have that kind of free time why can't they teach the damn class if they are so hard up for teachers ? There are also lots of meetings and classes etc. that the teachers are required to attend throughout the year.

Then there is that Catholic guilt. Aedan's class needs a teacher. I am his mother. I was asked to do it. So I should do it. One bonus is that I get Aedan's class for free. But does that cover all the stress I'll be dealing with?? I'm not so sure.

It doesn't help that Jim is saying I have enough to do with the 3 kids and my job and the house. But I think to myself that he's just worried he'll have to do more on Monday nights while I'm away.

I'm waffling but leaning more towards the yes side of the waffle. I'll weight the pros and cons a little more and see where I land.

I hate cancer

I hate that I even have to devote a blog entry to cancer. I hate it that much. I has taken so much from myself and the people I love.

The current offender being Stage 4 Glioblastoma multiforme. It has attacked a beloved family member. It came to light last summer around this time and being stage 4 the prognosis was not good. Even after extreme treatment for a year it has continued to grow. Tom has fought with everything he has for his own survival, for himself and for his family. This cancer is just too damn strong.

I pray that he and the family are at peace and can enjoy some time together just filled with love.

We love you Tom.

Vacation Countdown

I so need this vacation this year. I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. So the countdown is on. I have approximately 8 days left before we smell the salty sea air and feel the sand between our toes.

Lists have been made and remade. Snacks and toiletries are being purchased. Laundry is being done. Bedding is being washed and folded . Suitcases are being pulled from closets.

The excitement is brewing and I'm giddy just thinking about the few days off with my babies and the man with no schedule being spent doing whatever we want. One thing that needs to be purchased is a brand new SD card for the camera. I couldn't possibly use an already full one. I'm sure to add a couple hundred more pictures to my already overflowing gallery of family photos and I can't wait.

Summer Session

The days of waking the kids and dragging their butts off to day care are gone for the moment. They get to sleep late. Well at least as late as they care to. Which really isn't late at all. They get to watch some cartoons, color and draw and go swimming. My Mom has been laid off for about a year now so to save me some dough she offered to come to my house and watch the kids for about 6 weeks this summer. I jumped on it. It gives Aedan an actual summer vacation free from running and structure. And did I mention it saves me approximately $300 a week even if I am paying my Mom.

It's only day 2 and I can tell the kids are enjoying it. :) I know I am. It's alot easier not rushing to get them all ready and out the door. And I get home earlier without having that stop at daycare to pick up.

I miss not having them to chat with on the way home and their goofiness in the car but it is only 6 weeks so I guess I can deal with it for now.

The Cutest Parrot

I had forgotten how cute it was when Aedan and Chloe started to really talk and say words and sentences you could understand. Alexa is talking up a storm . She's been talking like crazy for a while but now you can actually have a conversation with her. It's really cute ... but of course as with everything under my roof there is a catch.

She repeats everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. She especially likes the last word of the sentence you mutter under your breath or yell in frustration.

Yesterday I heard Son-of-a-B*tch and last week I heard F*ck Me which was obscured because of the binky that was shoved in her mouth. I really need to control my potty mouth.

Last night she was talking to the neighbor's mother in law telling her "dead deer head, dead deer head" over and over because the other two were discussing a deer carcass we saw on the ride home.

If you ask her where we are going she'll tell you "bagel store" every time and if you ask her what she wants to eat for dinner she'll say "pizza" every time. She can sing her ABC's and also sing Patty Cake. She especially likes the roll it, pat it part :)

Hey. At least she knows what she knows and she likes what she likes :)