The Saga Continues. and ends.

Jim saw the Dr. today for his mysterious itching.  It apparently is not ringworm or some other icky contagious disease. It's simply a bad reaction of overly dry sensitive skin to an overly chlorinated pool. So anti-climactic.

Get some lotion and come see me when you pick up something way more interesting.

Swimming disease part deux.

The Man has been itching like crazy since Sunday night. In other words. Since we got home from the pool.  The Dr. says "it could be ringworm". Which of course has me stripping beds and pulling towels and separating laundry. Telling him to not touch me. What!?  It can be spread by close contact and I don't want to take any chances in case that is in fact what is wrong with him.

I gave him from lotrimin and hydrocortisone to hold him over til his Dr. appt. on Monday night. Maybe he'll be magically healed and maybe not. We shall see after the Dr. has a look. All I know is I don't want the itches so stay away from me buddy.

The Boy.

Today was math test day. When I got home I took out his folder and went through his papers. Asked him how his day was and how his math test went.  He said his day was good and he did OK on the test. Got some wrong.  Which made me stop in my tracks.. How did he know he got some wrong? So I checked his papers. The test was in the folder. Some wrong ? um. yeah that was an understatement. But besides the point and also not the point of my posting today .

I am going over the test and looking at the markings which are in in green on blue paper. This makes it HARD to see her marks. Maybe she is one of those teachers that feels the red pen is too harsh for little kids? Who knows. All I know is that it annoys the hell outta me. Anyway. There are a couple questions on there that weren't even covered in the 7 page review packet which irked me a tad. But I digress because that is also not the point of this post. I see one marked wrong with the right answer written next to it.  He had to draw in coins 68 cents 2 different ways. The first was 2 quarters, 1 dime, 1 nickel and 3 pennies.. the next was 6 dimes 1 nickel and 3 pennies. So I'm not seeing why it's wrong.  I'm looking at it over and over.. and I show it to my Mom and she agrees it looks right. So I put the paper down for a minute to take care of Alexa.

While I was gone my Mother found out that The Boy added that last penny in on both AFTER THE FACT because he didn't want to get in trouble with us for having it wrong.  I about died. I looked at him and shook my head. He was in tears. I told him he can't change a test after the fact because I was going to send his teacher an email complaining about the mistake on her part etc. and so on. Then I went on to explain that as long as he tries his hardest that he shouldn't be afraid to show us his test.

I felt worse that he was afraid of OUR reaction than I was about him fixing the test. What the hell kind of parent am I that my kid is afraid of us and afraid of bringing home a bad grade??? I pulled Jim aside when he got home before letting him see the test to explain what happened. So he also had a talk with Aedan and we went over the test with him together. We were disappointed that there were a few things on there that we haven't worked on in homework or on the review packet. Seems to be happening with every test.

I told my Mom this was just the beginning.. soon he'll be a computer hacker charging kids to change their grades for beer money...

I did it all for the .. booze apparently.

About a week and a half ago I was in search of  my big wine glass.  As usual when I need something from the top shelf I had to climb to get it.  Got on the countertop as I have for the past 12 years and got the glass down. I jumped off he counter and landed on my leg/knee on the top of the open cabinet door below. My kids got a lesson that night that would make a sailor and /or trucker blush. My mother came out of the powder room yelling "what the hell happened!?" And then she sees me doubled over in pain crying and hopping around. The kids' eyes are bugged out because they rarely see me cry and they haven't heard those words before either.

After a bit the leg was pretty swollen.  A small scrape and a small bruise. I figured it would bruise for a while and then I'd be fine. I could walk, it didn't feel broken.

Well I was sadly mistaken. As the days progressed the bruise gravitated south and it was green and ugly.. After a day of getting in and out of my chair at work did a number on my knee. It would hurt like a mother.

So off I go to the Dr. Dr. gets an X ray. No fractures show on the X ray. So off I go to the Orthopedic Dr. to get it looked at. He orders an MRI.  Had that done today. Next step is to go back to see him and get my results.  I looked at the MRI CD. I didn't see anything sinister but hey I'm no expert.

All this excitement and money spent for a glass of wine. I've since switched to beer and cider. I keep that in the fridge. No climbing involved.

Swimming in a Sea of Communicable Diseases.

We joined the local YMCA so that we could get the kids some swimming lessons in preparation for the upcoming swimming season and to try and get some workout time for Jim and I. Needless to say neither one of us has made it there to work out yet but that is besides the point. I'm physically injured so I can't even workout at home let alone in a million dollar facility.

We are in week 2 of the girls' lessons and Chloe is doing wonderfully. Took to it like a fish to water.  Yeah  it had to be said. Alexa, on the other hand, did not. Jim took her in for the 1st lesson and she cried most of the lesson and had his throat and other extremities in a death grip. I think he was purple at one point. I pointed and laughed from the side while cheering Chloe on. He looked at me and wished bad things upon me. I could tell. I still laughed.

Fast forward to week two.  It was turn to take Alexa in for her lesson. We figured we'd try to get there a bit early and swim as a family for a bit so she was comfortable in the pool before the lessons.  We are all in the pool hanging out and swimming, having fun. Alexa is dunking her head under. Aedan is swimming Chloe is racing her classmate across the pool. All is well. Until it was spotted.

Jim says "What is that ?"   I look around wondering what he is talking about. And then I see it. It HAD to be a large green snot. You know those dark green crusty ones that are stuck up there for a while and then come out all stiff. It floats by.  OH. My. God.  Totally creeps us the hell out.  We start seeing EVERYTHING. Even things that aren't there.  Jim says "forget what I said about maybe not getting a pool for our yard.. we are definitely getting that pool"  I find a corner bench seat in the pool and wait out the remaining 10 minutes before lessons start with my knees pulled up to my chest praying I'm not picking up 17 different diseases while sitting there. Yelling at the kids to "Stop opening your mouths! DO NOT SWALLOW THE WATER!!"

Then it's time for lessons. Alexa is pretty easy going. Then the instructions start and all hell breaks loose again. The crying and the clinging. But I handle it well because I have no pity. I threaten to take away her new favorite possession. The sparkle flip flops. So she stops screaming and starts listening. By the time the teacher says we can spend the rest of the class playing she is doing all the things she is supposed to have done. No longer clinging and I'm barely holding her. It turns into a wonderful lesson. Unfortunately after this next lesson it will all come to a screeching halt when she has to have Daddy with her again.. lord help us all.

Follow up to the icky water.. Chloe has been complaining her stomach hurts all day.. coincidence?? I think not.

Bad Bracket Mojo..

Just like in AC when they change your dealer it's all down hill when the organizer is switched up. A new guy organized the bracket pool this year. I went with my gut and picked a bunch of upsets.  Not unusual for me at all. What is unusual is the amount of upsets from the other teams.

The number of teams that got knocked off early, totally Effing up my bracket, is absolutely astounding. It could make a gambler cry. It almost made me cry when I saw Butler beat Pitt by 1 frickin point last night. 1 POINT.

I may have to (GASP) refrain from the money pool next year if the same guy is running the show because I truly think he Effed up my mojo. That is not to say I won't have a beautiful bracket filled out with my picks all ready to be circled and crossed off as they march towards the final four. But It will be for my own simple enjoyment and not for the almighty dollar.

Yeah.. who am I kidding.  I'm in it to win it despite my total lack of basketball stat knowledge. Therein lies my MADNESS. And I love it.

Potty Chair you Say ??

We apparently have a potty table. Some days I think I live in the jungle with the primitive people that can't speak a modern language or use utensils.Or make it to the potty chair even when naked.

The other night after bath I asked Alexa if she had to use the potty, she said no and ran off before I could get her diaper on. Usually she is in the other room. Not so on this fine night.  She reappears in my hallway trying to put on a swimmer.

Next thing I hear is Aedan and Chloe screaming that Alexa peed and "check her legs ! they are wet" So I corner her and check her. Sure enough I smell pee. I feel my blood pressure rising. Then they start yelling that she peed on the table.

Now let me say that all this is going on while Jim is in the shower. And that is better because he yells alot sooner than I do in these situations.  So I go downstairs to survey the situation because surely they can't be serious.  Oh.. but they are...

My damn end table (not a priceless antique by any means) is holding about a quart of urine. Wow. When that kid has to go she really goes. Little photo album. Soaked in pee.  Little play cake tray puddled with pee. Lamp.. sitting in pee. Pee foot print on my sofa from where she got off the table and jumped down.

You see.. she climbed on the table to get to the SWIMMER that she was trying to put on upstairs.

So I yell up to Jim to get a diaper on that kid PRONTO cause she can spring a leak at any moment.

Just a sweet little trip down memory lane.. or a 1/2 hour in my life.. feel free to visit anytime.. but bring beer.

Holy Crap

Literally.
Alexa will be 3 in a month. We've been battling with potty training for over 6 months. She is so damn stubborn we just couldn't find the magic bribe to get her to use the toilet. We'd put her in underwear and she'd wet them 10 minutes later. No embarrassment, no cares. Just a puddle on my wood laminate floor.

I finally broke down this past weekend and bought a potty chair for her. I figured if nothing else has worked why not try it. I hate them. I never bought one for Chloe so maybe that's why it took her so long to train too.. maybe I'm my own worst enemy.

I set the potty up yesterday. Alexa sat a few times but never went. Today while my Mother watched her she let her go bottomless. BIG MISTAKE. There was a puddle in my living room and then there was poop on the floor of my hall bathroom. That ended potty training with Grammy.

(This was followed by a phone call to my office asking me where the plunger was because the hall toilet was clogged. Apparently the wet wipes were used way too much and jammed up the works. Unfortunately (and I know this from past experience ) the only way to clear the pipes is the get your hands down in there and pull them out. Thankfully my Mother did just that and all is clear. )

Tonight she sat a few times and wanted to wear big girl pants. So I let her. I moved her potty into my living room to make it more kid friendly. She sat and peed almost immediately. Hi-Fives all around, a happy dance and a few pieces of candy later and she was back in her big girl pants. Fast forward a half hour. She saw Chloe go into the bathroom and followed. Next thing I know she is running half naked into the kitchen and telling me she went poop. Yep. She did it.

I am kicking myself for not getting this damn potty last year. Now I am keeping my fingers crossed that she can keep this up and not have too many accidents in the meantime.